September 11 -Remember

Much reflection on today and the events that happened 10 years ago.  I remember exactly where I was when we learned that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. 

I was watching "The Early Show" with my mom like we did every morning while we were getting ready for work. I had walked out of the room for a minute and she came out of the bathroom quickly and I remember her saying, "A plane just hit the World Trade Center!" We went into watch the news and that is when the 2nd plane hit.  I did not want to go to work but I did.  Everyone was in a daze and I remember we put all of our radios in the hallways and then listened to the radio all day.  I'm sure very little was done that day. It was a sad sad day. Later that evening, I remember for the first time in my life, laying in bed to go to sleep and feeling extremely unsafe. For goodness sake, we live in the United States of America, aren't we always safe?  I could not sleep.  It was surreal.

September 11, 2001

The news of the decade

The next week was kind of a blur - I remember prayer services, we had one at our church. New, news and more news all the time. I realized our lives would never be the same again. As Pearl Harbor was to my grandmother, September 11, 2001 would be an iconic day of sadness and remembrance for us. One thing that was so awesome was the closeness we felt as a nation, the patriotism, the love, the kindness. 

And as it is written, life does go on.  We keep going with our normal lives, but we never forget. 

I was lucky enough to visit New York City the first week of November 2001.  Ironically, we purchased our tickets on September 10, 2001.  For a while, we were unsure if we would be able to go on our trip as the airports were closed for quite a while.  I went with my besty Dana and her daughter Baylee.  We went and stayed for almost a week with Dana's sister, Delia, and her family.  We were so excited to visit New York City and see the sights.  We went to a Broadway show - "Les Miserables".  It was phenomenal.  We went to Central Park and ate at "Tavern on the Green".

Tavern on the Green

Central Park

Brooklyn Bridge

We went on a midnight walk from Brooklyn into Manhatten.  It was awesome and I think that was one of my favorite things we did the whole entire week.  We became experts at riding public transportation - something we don't have a lot of in Blackfoot, Idaho or Pawnee, Illinois.

One day we rode the subway all the way down to Battery Park.  It is in the financial district.  We were on the subway in the late afternoon.  There weren't many of us on the train anyway and the closer we got to Battery Park, there were fewer of us and then it was just Dana, Baylee and me.  We got of the subway and went up to the street.  There was no one around.  It was like a ghost town which was really odd in the middle of one of the busiest cities ever.  We could see areas roped off from the WTC wreakage as we looked down the streets.  We didn't dare get too close.  I don't know what we were afraid of.  Now I would have just walked down and taken as many pictures as I could but at the moment, it didn't seem right.  It was most definitely sacred, hallowed ground.  We were pretty somber for the rest of the evening.

The bull at Battery Park

The Esplanade

Battery Park - the southern-most part of
Manhatten

Another thing we noticed was how friendly people were to us.  I've always heard stories about people in the "big" city and how impatient they are.  We found the complete opposite.  People were extremely friendly and kind.  We were impressed.  I have always been so glad we were able to visit New York City and to feel a part of history that was going on during that time.

Back to September 11, 2001 - every year we pause on the 11th of September to remember those who gave their lives for our country and to those who are currently fighting for our country.  It is an amazing feeling which gives me such gratitude.  I hope that as the years pass, I can pass onto my children the feelings of patriotism and wonderfulness I feel of being an American.  I love our country with all my heart.  I am proud to be an American.

I read this article in the Deseret News - it was very good.  I also have been reading the past couple of weeks a series on Yahoo about September 11.  It is amazing if you want to take a look:  "September 11 Profiles."  Finally, if you don't read Pioneer Woman, you should!  Here is her blog entry from today.  I even was compelled to read the comments and some of them were heartbreakers...

Disclaimer:  I didn't take any of these pictures, I found them all on the web.  I don't even know where my pictures are from our New York trip.

Switching kids

When Bryan and I were first married, his kids would be with us for a few days, then a few days with their mom and then every other weekend with a different parent.  It took a little bit of getting used to and didn't take long.  I hated it when the kids were gone - they brought so much to our home and it was always so quiet with them gone.  I think that was one of the reasons I was so eager to have our own kids because they weren't going anywhere...

Fast forward to now.  Yes, we are a divorced family and the kids are going back and forth - not as much as the older kids, most of their time is with me however, in the summer and different holidays, they go to spend time with their Dad and his relatives.  I am glad that they get to go spend time with their dad, Grandma and Grandpa and their cousins.  I am so glad we live close enough that they can get to know them instead of spending once a year or every other year together.

B.U.T. it kills me every time I drive away from them.  I am so empty without them.  It's such a difficult feeling to describe.  I hate this part of my life and I don't think I will ever get used to it.  I can't imagine what my life would be like without them in it.  Being a mother has been such a great experience for me.  I thank Heavenly Father all the time that he brought these two wonderful spirits into my life.  There was a time in my life when I wondered if I would ever have children - and now I have these two little ones who depend on me so much.  I just hope they know how much their momma loves them - maybe someday!

Carson - right after they wheeled her to my
room.  I had the camera and she looked
over at me and I took the picture.  She was so
alert after she was born.

Morgan - right after he was cleaned up and right
before they placed him in my arms and wheeled
us to our room.  Once we got there, they promptly put
him under the lights for an hour and he cried the whole
time.  I kept asking them if I could feed him and they
were waiting for his blood sugar levels to rise.  As
soon as I could feed him, he downed that bottle
and was happy as a clam!  Yes, a mom
knows what her baby needs.

Carson (30 months) and Morgan (5 months)
I loved this picture and couldn't resist
buying it.  There is a story here but that is
for another time and place.

Carson (4 yr) and Morgan (2 yr)...  I just love
how she is so tender with him and he was
so upset because he did not want to
get his picture taken and have mommy more
than five inches away from him.